Read to Live

- Intermezzo -

I started reading like crazy in order to get better at writing, but now it feels like writing is just an excuse to do more reading.

It's all I want to do. If I could read all day long I would. The only reason I want to make more money is to buy more books. The problem is I don't want to do that, since that would cut into my reading time.

My wife came into my room one day and said, 'what the hell is all this? I can barely walk around in here!' Now, I do happen to have a small room compared to the amount of books I own. But if she was trying to discourage me, she had the complete opposite effect. I have piles and piles of books all around me. I want them to grow taller. My badges upon badges of honor.

When they lay me down to sleep, I want my tombstone to say this guy sure read a crapton.

I have a peculiar taste though, I won't read just anything. Although I had to read everything in sight in order to come to that conclusion. At first I had no idea if what I read was good or not, just that I wanted to do more of it. Hell, I didn't even know what I liked to begin with. My interests were slowly revealed by Time.

It's one of the most disconcerting and pleasurable experiences in the world, when you read something and think it's terrible but you remember liking it before.

That's what happens when you find out what you really like, the majority of the stuff you come across is just appalling. When your tastebuds become refined, it gets harder and harder to find something that will truly satiate your hunger.

I don't live to read.

After a while, a system developed. I discovered that I couldn't stand reading just one book, or even a few. I had to read all different kinds because they kept me balanced. Of course I have favorite books, ones that I can read many times over. I go back to these whenever my temperature gets low, the battery needs recharging. Until I get red hot, passionate, emotional, soulful.

I'm a sentimental person, but I hate sentimental writing.

I fell in love with novels and essays, but I still enjoy practical topics. For example, right now I'm reading a book about what it's like to be a dog. My own dogs need training and I'm the only one that can do it. So reading this literature solves a real problem. There are plenty of other things in my life I need to do somethin' about, and when push comes to shove I'll get books about that too.

Who says you can't fix your life by reading? Not me.

I reserve the couple hours before I sleep each weeknight for what I call my Deep Dive writers. For the past year I've chosen one person that's blipped my radar enough that I want to read everything they've ever written and everything that's ever been written about them as well. Right now the guy is Vonnegut. Maybe you see some shades of him in this essay. If so, it's not intentional but it's a cool side effect. I've just finished all his novels, up next are his stories.

You would be dead wrong if you thought I took the weekend off. That's the time for poetry, as well whatever else I damn well please.

But it's important to be flexible. Basically, I will change anything I read at any time if I feel like it. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to let my emotions decide. Philosophy. Music. Religion. Whatever.

Nothing's off the table.

Then there are those times you find something so good that you clear everything away in order to make room. Side quests. Fruitful detours.

These are wonderful experiences of a unique kind. Sometimes that book that comes out of nowhere happens to have enough pages you could use it to kill somebody. Sometimes a book leads to another. And another. And another. You realize you've been away from your regular reading regimen for a while. Maybe months go by. But you like it, because the delay will make it more gratifying. When you finally return you notice you're not even the same person you were before you left. And it's as if the whole thing happened by accident. But then it starts to happen enough you question this.

It makes me wonder if there's some god of books out there. How's your Greek mythology, know anything?

Well shit, guess I found another book to read.