Irreplaceable

- Intermezzo -

I would have been better off expecting the worst, but instead my dumbass thought I was getting a raise or promotion of some sort.

It probably had to do with the fact I was on vacation, that I was naturally in a good mood. Who am I kidding? I would have confused optimism for idealism no matter the scenario.

Let me explain.

I got an email from my coworker while I was in Palm Springs with my wife and two dogs. Kasper was still young back then so this was a very long time ago. Anyways, she said there was something important that needed to be discussed with me, could I please come into the office as soon as possible.

I tried getting details but she remained coy.

Mum's the word.

• • •

We got back. The next day I put on my Sunday best, spritzed on my only cologne and walked in all excited.

She's sitting at the table with her boss. Neither of them is smiling but it's not registering. Her boss then hands me a check and says I'm being let go.

I sit there stunned for the next few seconds, until it registers and I ask her why.

'We decline to answer any questions.'

Later, I find out that contractual laborers do not need to legally be provided any reason whatsoever for a dismissal. But what really got to me was how all the goodwill and excellent relationships built over the years suddenly meant squat. What made me especially seethe was how coldly she presented herself that day, when just the week before, at the end of one of our concerts, we were all standing around laughing, smiling, and joking around.

Bitch.

She says they'll be needing the garage opener back and thanks me for my service. After I get the opener I walk back and my coworker is waiting for me outside. I hand her the opener. She shakes my hand and looks me in the eyes. She looks sad.

Afterwards, she blocks both me and my wife on Facebook.

The job wasn't raining dollars but it was still a good chunk of my income. Gone. I wasn't teaching enough students at the time so my only recourse was to find a similar line of work as soon as I could.

I found another musical organization that worked with visually impaired children. We had collaborated together before so I hoped I had left enough of an impression on the guy in charge. To my relief we hit it off immediately and he takes me on. No accompanist work for me but I could teach a few of their students.

Sign me up.

• • •

This guy goes snooping around, wanting to find out why I got canned. Persistent. He says he needs to find out what made them let me go but somehow it feels like he has his own personal vendetta against them.

In any case, I'm glad he found out why. Apparently, a parent filed a complaint against me.

The dots connect.

I remember working with a student outside of choir practice. My coworker had introduced us, said she was a clarinetist so how about we collaborate? Over the years we perform together and develop a tight relationship. I'm on good terms with her mother and father as well. I see her brother from time to time.

Then I dig my own hole.

I get bit by the entrepreneurial bug. What if I started coaching her outside of choir for free? Teach her how to practice and stuff since, you know, I've been to music college.

They're thrilled.

I let my coworker know. She gives me the big okay. I invite the kid and her mom over. We start out enthusiastically enough.

All of a sudden I get caught off guard. I'm explaining a practice principle and she pushes back. To be honest, I probably didn't know what I was talking about. If questioned further, the edifice would probably have collapsed.

The animosity is what surprises me. Her tone takes on a cynical timbre. She has this facial expression as if I'm a complete piece of shit.

So I cut our first meeting short, suggest she might not be ready. Her mom's in the background covering her face out of embarrassment. She apologizes profusely for what just transpired.

That was the last time I ever saw them.

Bitches.

• • •

I liked the new gig enough. I enjoyed teaching the students there. There was one really cool moment when I recognized one of the kids from the place that sacked me. 'What happened?' she said.

'They didn't explain anything about why you were gone.'

But I didn't like it enough to want to stay there.

For one thing, they would dump merchandise on everyone and tell them to go sell it. As if I signed up to be a salesman? And the designs were so god-awful you couldn't pay me to wear them myself. I'm sure it would have ended some friendships if I had forced this agenda on them.

But it's not like you can show up empty-handed when you're part of a 'team.' So I ended up buying mine. Twenty goddamn dollars. One stupid hat. In today's economy, I could have bought a burger and fries with that.

For another thing, the way he and his wife sometimes acted towards kids made me extremely uncomfortable. I won't give any details but I'll mention he literally said to me one time:

'I'm kind of an asshole.'

• • •

The last day of my probationary period he brings me into his office. The way he's acting, you can tell he's fully expecting me to sign on the dotted line.

I'm grateful he took me in but I've already made my decision. When I let him know, his eyes bug out and his mouth gapes open. He sits there stunned, silent for the next few seconds.

Shell-shocked.

• • •

Let me tell you about the last job I ever had. By that, I mean the last time I ever made money working for someone else.

It felt too good to be true. The school was right down the street. The pay was above average. I thought it was weird that boss-lady hired me over the phone. Basically, a five minute conversation.

No matter.

• • •

I would be teaching group piano. First time ever. Nervous, but excited.

It got really overwhelming, really fast.

At first, I was teaching about twenty elementary students. In a few weeks the number quickly ballooned up to fifty. It was like I was teaching rabbits.

One of my coworkers stopped by to borrow a chair. I gave him the chair, and then he looked into the classroom. It was like he was watching a horror flick, he stood in place as if he had just seen Medusa.

The most annoying part is when boss-lady randomly pops into the classroom. I am trying not to lose my composure and she keeps interrupting me with the most trivial matters. Here's a student who's sitting an inch too close to the keyboard. Well sorry, I got forty-nine other fuckin' kids I'm trying to pay attention to.

Before she leaves she yells out, 'no one is irreplaceable!'

Eventually I get fed up with her act. She walks in one day and repeats her usual greeting, 'everything okay in here?'

'YES! Everything is FINE!' I practically yell back at her.

'Carry on,' she squeaks and quickly exits the scene.

• • •

You would think having an assistant would help.

About that assistant ...

• • •

I liked her at first, since she was telling me everything I wanted to hear. And everything's groovy for a while.

One day she's late. I call. I text. Nothing.

She walks in twenty minutes later. No eye contact or greeting. No apology.

The next week she doesn't walk in at all.

I email boss-lady, tell her what's up. Explain I can't work with my assistant any more. Clearly, she is not a dependable person. Send someone new. ASAP.

She thanks me for voicing my concerns. Tells me not to worry, that she'll take care of everything.

• • •

The next class, the very same assistant waltzes in like nothing happened.

'Hello Mr. Lee,' she says politely. Suddenly we're on a last name basis.

I think to myself, I gotta get outta here.

• • •

I give my two-week notice. Boss-lady is cordial, says I'm paid up until the end of the month. Thanks me for offering to stay but says I won't need to come in any more.

Son of a bitch.

I was the only replaceable one all along.