The Same Exact Thing

- Intermezzo -

How did I become the person I am today?

The only reason this question interests me is because I feel I’ve had no say in the matter.

I didn’t always feel this way. In fact, I always felt in control of my destiny. I believed my life would end up exactly the way I pictured it.

If you had asked me to entertain a different reality, I would have told you that was impossible. To admit it was possible would have created doubt, would have put an end to the dream.

But I refused to be realistic and one day I woke up.

I was too late–or was I right on time?

There was a time I wished I had a different family. I couldn’t help but wonder how things could have turned out with parents that were understanding, parents who saw me as I was.

But once I accepted they would never be who I wanted them to be, I stopped caring.

Pain tends to make everything longer, and I didn’t care whether it came to an end.

But now life feels so short, time doesn’t move slowly enough.

I don't want it to end.

You learn to live with the pain; life is generally painful.

But that’s no excuse to be unhappy.

I never thought I’d be so happy that things never worked out. I can’t fathom being a different person other than the one I am today.

Then again, that different version of me would probably say the same exact thing.