Hero

- Impromptu -

I used to have to remind myself to smile, which just means I now remember to smile more.

I think the turning point was during a student recital. The students all holding their trophies, my wife and I standing by them as the phones flashed. One of the parents saying, 'Look, Mr. Warren is smiling!'

Well, I haven’t heard any jokes about this since then so I assume the change has held.

Gotta confess, it still doesn’t feel natural to me. Smiling. I think it mostly has to do with the fact I spend so much time brooding and reflecting, reading and writing, and it feels impossible to do either effectively when the corners of my mouth are turned up.

So when I’m around people a voice goes off inside my head—Smile! Now hold it for 3, 2 …—and I feel the features shift on my face that usually doesn’t move.

And when the cameras come out my pose becomes even more unnatural. And I figure pictures also reveal whether a person practices smiling or not.

Maybe that’s just my insecurity speaking.

Oh well.

I never have to worry about this when I teach though. When I’m around kids is when the guard comes down. They get my humor, we’re on the same wavelength because, because ...

... I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid.

Immature as I may be, my students have never complained. If not the smiles, the laughter always confirms this.

I definitely laughed more once I discovered it was the way out of bachelorhood. I knew I was on the right track when my future wife said her friends referred to me as 'the funny guy.'

I felt really good.

But I felt even better when I got Kasper. I don’t know if that stuff about a dog adding years to your life is true, but it was definitely the happiest I had ever been.

It was funny because most of the time, he wore a poker face. So on those rare occasions he did smile, it only made it that much more special.

I still wonder if I could have made him smile more.

• • •

There’s this anime called Hero Academia.

Not that I’m a fan, I've only managed to watch a few episodes.

But from what I've seen, I remember one of the most important traits of one of the most important characters of the series.

His name is All Might and it’s not just his strength that inspires an entire generation of heroes. What he is known for is his commitment to smiling no matter how dire the circumstance may be.

That's his real superpower.

Smiling.

I thought about this when I saw my wife crying in front of Kasper. I took her aside and said the best thing we could do for him was to keep smiling.

But no matter how much I smiled, I’m sure he picked up on how worried and sad I was.

He knew me better than anyone in my entire life.

Well, at least he didn’t see how I cried for him.