On Friendship
- Intermezzo -
Being a good friend is hard. Probably why I don’t have too many of them.
Doesn't bother me too much, since I love being alone. But it does worry me that I might not have any friends.
Not even one?
Surely I'm overthinking things as I always do, but then again when's the last time you asked someone if you were actual friends?
You could go the subtle route, which somehow equates to being very obvious:
'Hello friend, my old friend.'
'Hey there, my very good friend.'
'Hi ho, my friendliest of friends.'
Yes, I know there's better ways to do this, but it's been a long night. And yes, I know I'm a bit on the neurotic side.
Speaking of which, the only people I've actually said 'friend' to have happened to be strangers.
You never announce friendships, they somehow happen and you're supposed to sense it. And I would take this information at face value if I hadn't been wrong so many times before.
The problem is there's no universal standard or interpretation regarding friendship.
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ... wait, aren't you diabetic?
Thing is, you never really find out until you cross a line you didn't know was there.
You accidentally close the distance.
Once that happens it's too late to backtrack, and you can't retrace your steps without it becoming painfully clear.
It's worse for an empath, because we're supposed to care about people yeah? But you just turn into a butler or a maid or a wannabe superhero who is trying to save a day that doesn't need saving.
Simmer down now.
Even if you're not curious, my idea of a friend is someone who isn't afraid to tell me the truth. Someone who speaks their mind at the risk of offending me.
You take risks for your friends, no?
You intervene rather than enable, right?
Right?
Admittedly, I'm okay with this because the intentions matter more to me than the execution. Well, to a reasonable degree in any case.
In any case, I'm getting better at balance. I've finally figured out how to zip it.
Put simply, don't give advice when it hasn't been asked for. Because even if you open your mouth, any positive benefits are short-lived.
It's hard. It's hard because of the possibility that your friend will walk into a trap that could have been avoided.
It's definitely no fun when reality becomes a living hell.
No bueno.
But then you make it out the other side and you realize you wouldn't have had it any other way. And if you're not there yet, please do yourself a favor and hold onto the belief that things will work out yeah?
So I'm grateful I wasn't bailed out, and happy to have been put in my place.
How else can you finally understand what real friendship is all about?
Bring on the friends.
