Damnit Kurt

- Impromptu -

I’m writing this from my hotel room in Vegas. 

The last place I’d rather be is inside a casino, so I’m obviously not here to gamble.

I’m not here to see the city either. It just doesn’t have the same appeal as it did when I was younger. 

I’m just waiting here with three corgis (two are mine, one a friend’s). Waiting until my wife is done with the No Doubt concert at the Sphere.

It’s their last one at the Sphere and possibly their last one ever.

Actually, we were in Vegas a week ago (sans corgis) to see No Doubt. I went to see them with my wife.

It was cool.

But I’m not really a fan–not that I haven’t enjoyed their music over the years.

My wife is a big fan. A huge fan.

This entire experience has made me think of my teenage musical heroes.

Nirvana.

You’ll tend to do that after seeing people suddenly dress and act half their age–the nice guy in me says this is adorable (I’ve asked the mean guy to go away). 

If they were around today and I was at one of their concerts, I wonder if I’d be having the time of my life.

The way my wife is having the time of her life (again) at this very moment. 

(She just texted me, ‘Def more energy today.’ I texted back, ‘Just watch the damn show.’)

I wonder how I would have reacted if I’d magically bumped into one of the band members the next day.

I would probably have acted like my wife after she spotted Tony Kanal at the outer periphery of the MGM casino after we had finished a spritzer (each) at Eataly.

She was a blubbering mess (‘I … I’m from … the OC … too!’). It was so cute. I was so happy she got a photo with him.

How do you calculate the odds of something like that! It makes my brain hurt in the best way.

It makes me feel so lucky to be who I am. I couldn’t always say that. 

I wonder. 

I wonder if I would have seen Nirvana if they were still around.

At first, I was inclined to say no. I really haven’t listened to their music in years. Not that I might not start again sometime.

Yet I can’t say I have any particular interest in listening to any music from that time. These days, all I listen to is classical music (jazz on occasion) so where would I find the time?

But the real answer remains impossible, since the lead singer died so long ago.

Dammit Kurt, why’d you have to do that?

I don’t remember where I was when I found out, but I’m sure it was one of the worst days I ever had.

Then again, at least it saved me from the mixed feelings I’d have about the possibility of seeing them on stage in a place like Vegas.