- Intermezzo -
Our old professor's daughter was getting married. Out of all her father's students she had known, we were the only ones she had invited.
The day came, so I finally checked the website for information. The ceremony and reception were going to be held outdoors. We were advised to bring a light jacket in case of cold weather.
The temperature was going to hit three digits that day.
Hooray.
Dress code was formal and elegant. Neutral colors and please avoid white on account of the bride. I put on my only suit and a pair of dress shoes. I wondered why they were so tight and my wife said those were actually my brother's. I found my dress shoes and put them on after wiping away the dust.
My wife rented a dress. I thought it was too fancy, told her we were supposed to wear neutral colors.
'Aren't these neutral colors?' my wife asked.
Yes dear, whatever you say.
• • •
We get there ten minutes late, the bride and groom are already at the altar. Everyone else is seated, melting away.
My wife finds an empty seat, I find another on the other side. From my angle I can see my old professor in the front row. His wife is next to him. She looks very unhappy. She's dressed in black.
The priest is talking about what all priests talk about at weddings. This priest in particular seems overenthusiastic about God and the Church. Or maybe it's that I'm not too religious. A little later a song is sung, one of those Christian rock or pop songs that all sound the same. The entire row in front of me is mouthing the lyrics.
Then the bride and groom exchange their vows. Their devotion to God. That it's their devotion to God that brought them together. Their devotion to God says they must promise to do what the Bible tells them to.
(i am not making fun of anyone, just paraphrasing what i remember.)
At this point I realize it's going to be a dry event. I also realize I need a drink very badly. My own wedding had an open bar, hence it was very fun.
The official vows come, the ones right before they're supposed to kiss.
'I ... take thee ... to be my lawfully wedded–'
… vrooooOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
A motorcycle drowns out the next sentence.
Well, they finally kiss. Under this giant billboard that's been hovering above them the entire time. I start to imagine various, inappropriate advertisements: divorce lawyer, erectile dysfunction pill, rival church.
• • •
The ceremony concludes. My wife and I reunite. We head towards the front row to say hello to our professor and his wife. I notice he's dressed in the familiar tuxedo (white bowtie) I've seen him wear at all the concerts he's ever performed at. I'm tempted to ask him where he's playing tonight. I notice his wife isn't smiling. But she smiles briefly when we shake hands.
We head into the room next door. Everyone is smiling and laughing because the room is air conditioned. My wife suddenly whispers to me that she's overdressed. She says this while pretending to not look very, very proud about it.
The appetizer spread looks fancy. Various crackers, cheeses, fruits and vegetables are beautifully laid out. But there aren't any utensils. We sit down at a table and I use the cracker to spoon the food into my mouth.
We stay in the room, killing time before the reception (mainly, we don't want to leave the air conditioner). I see a bunch of people that look exactly like my old professor. My wife says that it's his family. They're at the photo booth, which consists of a ring light and wall decorations. At the last second, the professor's mom pops in.
She looks very cute in her black sneakers.
• • •
The MC awkwardly announces the reception is ready and people file out very slowly, reluctant to begin melting away again.
We find our table and the couple across from us strike up a conversation. The woman is a second cousin of sorts to my old professor. She works as a choir teacher in a public school and her husband is in health care. We say we're both piano teachers and the husband is surprised. 'I know,' I say. 'It's usually more balanced.'
He makes a joke about a niece who wants to pursue music. It's a valid career choice as long as she marries a rich dentist. We all laugh. I say that it's very practical advice. The second cousin talks about how amazing AI is, that she's used it to create audio tracks for work instead of having to contract someone. The husband postulates pharmacy is in trouble, that that's a field where humans aren't really necessary. He also posits that piano teachers aren't safe either. I don't take this seriously, since my students have never cared that much about getting better at piano.
The fancy appetizer spread has made my wife look forward to dinner. Our table finally gets called up. We walk over and once we pass the corner we see a small taco truck.
My wife seems disappointed. I'm not, because I love Mexican food.
The husband's daughter tells the worker it must be torture making all this food in this heat. They say they're from Temecula. It's ten degrees warmer over there.
• • •
While scarfing down my tacos I overhear a conversation:
'Ama (grandma) forgot the password to her Instagram.'
Silence.
' ... Ama has Instagram?'
• • •
I check our home security cameras. The notifications say:
6:18 sound detected
6:20 sound detected
6:21 sound detected
6:25 sound detected
I tap on a random clip. Kingston is howling. Winston is sleeping. I think about Kasper, how I never had to worry about leaving him at home with Winston.
• • •
I go back for seconds. On the way the husband and I joke that if this was a Korean wedding (the groom is Korean and so am i. come to think of it, the bride is Taiwanese like my wife) they would've run out of food by now and everyone would be piss drunk.
We get back to the table and the maid of honor is giving her speech. More stuff about God.
The groom's father makes a speech. He's the only one that gets a laugh out of the crowd the whole night. He says, 'You know I have to blame the bride and groom for making everyone here sweat so bad today ... because they're such a HOT COUPLE!'
The groom's brother also makes a speech. I tell my wife he's probably not that religious. 'Why?' she asks.
'He only mentioned God once,' I answer.
• • •
The best man begins his speech. It goes on and on. 'Wow, this guy really likes to talk,' my wife says.
I see people eating cookies and cupcakes so I stand up to investigate. I come back with my cookies and cupcakes and the guy is still at it. He apologizes for his boring speech before continuing. The cookies and cupcakes are pretty good.
The husband looks at my plate with longing eyes. As if to convince himself he says, 'it's good to have self-control.'
I think to myself that I've allowed myself these cookies and cupcakes because I have self-control.
• • •
Everything's about to wrap up. People are all standing around, waiting for the big sendoff. I go to use the bathroom in the air-conditioned hall. A lady walks by me. She looks at me. We look at each other. She says, 'IT FEELS SO GOOD IN HERE!' before she goes outside to melt away again.
They hand everyone giant sparklers. My wife nearly burns my eyebrows off. We form a row on each side. The bridge and groom walk underneath the sparklers as we cheer. They get in a car and drive off while the camera people record the entire scene. They don't come back. My wife remarks that we never got to say hi to them the entire night.
We hang around for a little bit, chatting with my old professor. He asks me if I remember making her daughter cry when she was little. I say that was actually her brother. I don't mention it was actually an ex-girlfriend that accidentally made his daughter cry, because I know my wife will get upset at this even though there's no reason to.
Incidentally, the brother is there too. All grown up. I ask him what he's been up to and he says he works for this well-known AI company. My wife says, 'that's so exciting! I think they're going to be on the stock market soon, right?'
He says, 'I'm more concerned about keeping it from killing us all.'
My wife talks about how one of her friends used their app and never got around to seeing a psychiatrist since it did such a good job. The brother mentions that his new brother-in-law happens to be a psychiatrist. To inmates. One time they wheeled a guy in, inside of a straight jacket.
'They gave him a panic button,' he says. 'You know, just in case.'
The brother asks me if we're going to the afterparty. I say we're too old and we gotta get home because of the dogs. I make a joke about needing a drink.
'Oh, they're gonna be drinking,' he says.
'The blood of Christ,' I say. He chuckles.
My wife chats with his mother for a while. Then it's time to go. Before leaving I congratulate the brother on all his success. He seems confused by this and I decide it's a good thing he doesn't consider himself successful.
We say goodbye. My old professor says to stay in touch and I say I will.
• • •
On the drive home my wife tells me about her conversation with the professor's wife. That she was confused as to why this wedding happened. That she prayed to God every day in the preceding weeks and she insisted that He said He would put a stop to it. She was considering leaving before the reception started but my wife said she should stay.
I feel incredibly sad. I imagine how hurtful this must be to the daughter and her new husband. I imagine the mother must be hurting too, that perhaps this is just a manifestation of her fear. Maybe she's just scared of her daughter leaving and never coming back. An empty nest.
But mostly I yearn to tell her that God does whatever He wants and there's nothing we can do about it.
