Letting Go

- Impromptu -

I’ve never been good with goodbyes.

I think that’s why I’ve always been the dumpee instead of the dumper. And when I got married, the only part of the wedding vow I paid attention to was '… till death do you part.'

Ever since I started teaching piano, nearly all my students have been beginners. Partly because I had no idea what I was doing, mostly because it afforded me more time before the dreaded adios.

The biggest thing I learned is that time and loyalty aren’t automatically rewarded in this game. It makes you wonder if it’s worth putting yourself out there. My wife definitely wonders how I end up in these situations, situations she never ends up in since she keeps her students at a distance.

But it’s not so much that the reward isn’t worth the risk as it is that anything can come to an end at any time.

Somebody should have told me this when my grandfather passed away—what’s a kid supposed to do when the person he loves the most suddenly disappears?

He grows up into an adult who can’t accept the next time it happens.

When Meeko was dying, I wouldn’t have tried to hold on so desperately if I had come to terms with his remaining time.

The times this affected me the most were when students would quit without notice. I thought if I tried harder I could turn the boat around, but it only prolonged the inevitable.

I think it’s when Kasper’s light started to fade that I finally understood. The idea of losing my best friend is what got me to take the present seriously.

Consequently, I enjoyed teaching more and more. The more I enjoyed it, the longer each student seemed to stay onboard. And when we parted ways, unexpectedly or not, it didn’t matter to me anymore.

Not even just a little?

Okay, maybe just a little.

I hated losing him, but those moments with him near the end of the road were actually the most memorable of my entire life.

Sure, I wish he didn’t have to suffer so much, but I still consider myself lucky for having had him for so long.

Still, there's never enough time.

Never.

I’m nothing but grateful for all the lessons he taught, the biggest one being how to let go.

It was the best 17 years anyone could ever ask for.